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First Time Caller

from Slight of Hand by The Oven Mitts

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lyrics

I tuned in to Helpful John
As his call-in show came on
It was a special program for lovers without
Was another Valentine's Day
With dinner in the ashtray
And I figured maybe he could help me out
My heartbeat raced when he answered the line
I'm 6 foot 2, but feeling smaller
I'm a long time listener
First time caller

There's this front desk girl at work
I'm the assistant filing clerk
And I love to hear her speak
She makes everyone feel at home
In person or on the phone
She's got something that's just so sweet
But I’m too scared to talk to her
I dream at night of kissing her
I’m a first time caller
Long time listener

John said listen close to him
“Now’s the time to go out on a limb
It’s Lesson One for beginners
You had the guts to call my show
So stop waiting for Cupid’s bow
Just ask her out to dinner
It’s time to be a winner”

I thought about what John had said
The deejay’s words spun around in my head
He said “All heroes take a stand for that great reward”
And so the very next day
I put all my papers away
And placed a call to the work switchboard
She says “Hello, can I help you please?”
Feeling confident and standing taller
I said “I'm a long time listener,
First time caller”
I've been a long time listener
First time caller

credits

from Slight of Hand, released April 9, 2021

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The Oven Mitts Los Angeles, California

An eclectic blend of clever power pop (think Fountains of Wayne or They Might Be Giants), 60's-ish pop (think Harry Nilsson or The Monkees), and singer-songwriter songs (think John Prine).

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