1. |
Consolation Marriage
04:02
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Welcome to our consolation marriage
With the baby crying in a baby carriage
No happily ever after
No nights with hysterical laughter
Just me and you and the disappearing weekend
I wasn’t your first choice and you weren’t mine
You saw other boys and I was doing fine
But we made out at that party and shared a single glass of wine
Now we drink like fish and stagger to the finish line
I can’t cheer you up when you get sad
I’ve been working out, but still looking bad
And you always embarrass me when we visit Mom and Dad
You say I repeat myself, I repeat myself, I repeat myself… it’s driving you mad
You’re not going to leave me, are you?
Cause I don’t think I’d know what to do
We don’t finish each other’s sentences
We both binge on different shows
But divorces are expensive
So on and on it goes
Just me and you - you’re my only real friend,
yeah it’s me and you, Yeah it’s me and you. It’s me and you until the day it ends
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2. |
Wendy
03:48
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We wake, we don't talk and we go about our separate ways
At night we're don't talk then repeat for a thousand days
What happened to my bubbly new bride?
When I told her I loved her, she sighed
There’s a distant look on her face when she’s here with me
She says that she’s happy but there’s someplace she’d rather be
How long can we live this lie?
And when’s she gonna tell me goodbye?
Wendy, when you gonna make up your mind?
Tell me, are you gonna leave me behind?
Wendy, when you gonna make up your mind?
Help me, you’ve got me in a terrible bind
I know I should speak but I don’t know what to say
I’m scared that she’ll leave but I can’t face another day
When I’m alone, I cry
And wonder if she’ll tell me goodbye
Wendy, when you gonna make up your mind?
Tell me, are you gonna leave me behind?
Wendy, when you gonna make up your mind?
Help me, you’ve got me in a terrible bind
She’s not willing to put in the time
I get high and go out of my mind
Wendy, when you gonna make up your mind?
Tell me, are you gonna leave me behind?
Wendy, when you gonna make up your mind?
Help me, you’ve got me in a terrible bind
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3. |
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The baby’s crying
And the mortgage is due
I’ve been thinking
What if wishes came true
My wife is locked
In the bathroom again
Crying, crying
She still regrets dropping out of school
We’ve been saving
For a trip to Madrid
Since the wedding
Since we had our third kid
Another summer
In our one story hell
Then another and another
Our boys swim good at the rec center pool
You better change your attitude
And now’s the time you should start
Nobody knows what the future holds
It could fold or blow apart
What if this is the good part
I almost crash
When I’m driving these streets
My body’s burning
Just another dead heat
I ask the heavens
How to break this curse
I’m trying, trying
I may be risk-averse, but aren’t we all
If I could do
Anything that I want
I’d probably open
A Mexican restaurant
I would hire
Everyone that I know
Like my brother and my mother
But the bigger you dream, the harder you fall
You better change your attitude
And now’s the time you should start
Nobody knows what the future holds
It could fold or blow apart
What if this is the good part
Next page, next chapter
Whatever’s after could be small
We’re all ready to be winners
No one’s prepared to lose it all
What if this is the good part
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4. |
First Time Caller
03:42
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I tuned in to Helpful John
As his call-in show came on
It was a special program for lovers without
Was another Valentine's Day
With dinner in the ashtray
And I figured maybe he could help me out
My heartbeat raced when he answered the line
I'm 6 foot 2, but feeling smaller
I'm a long time listener
First time caller
There's this front desk girl at work
I'm the assistant filing clerk
And I love to hear her speak
She makes everyone feel at home
In person or on the phone
She's got something that's just so sweet
But I’m too scared to talk to her
I dream at night of kissing her
I’m a first time caller
Long time listener
John said listen close to him
“Now’s the time to go out on a limb
It’s Lesson One for beginners
You had the guts to call my show
So stop waiting for Cupid’s bow
Just ask her out to dinner
It’s time to be a winner”
I thought about what John had said
The deejay’s words spun around in my head
He said “All heroes take a stand for that great reward”
And so the very next day
I put all my papers away
And placed a call to the work switchboard
She says “Hello, can I help you please?”
Feeling confident and standing taller
I said “I'm a long time listener,
First time caller”
I've been a long time listener
First time caller
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5. |
Mailroom Guy
02:46
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He passes by my office and says, “I know how you feel.
I lost my wife too.
Maybe after work we should grab a meal
With a drink or two.”
But I’m a high-up exec
So I make up some stupid lie
What if they all saw me
With the mailroom guy
It’s hard just to making into work at 9
He’s there two hours before
He knocks but I’m on a conference call
So he leaves the mail at my door
And he invites me for Thanksgiving
With fixings and a pie
Instead it’s Whole Foods then a movie
Not the mailroom guy
Out of pity, I once went with him
To a basketball game
But if you put a gun to my head
I couldn’t tell you his name
My biggest fear is that I'll die alone
With no one by my side
The funeral will be an empty room
And not a tear will be cried
But someone will miss me when I’m gone
He’ll shuffle pass my office and sigh
As the day begins at the break of dawn
For the mailroom guy
He’s just the mailroom guy
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6. |
Everything Girl
03:03
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I watch her pass each day
On her way
To who knows where
It seems so evident
She was heaven sent
Without a care at all
She smiles as she goes by the mall
As I let out a sigh
Wish that she’d be my...
Everything girl
We’re going to meet one day
Then I’ll try to say
The things I feel
She is the girl I want
So nonchalant
And even keel and cool
She smiles I fear I’ll play the fool
As I shake and quiver
Wish I could give her…
Everything girl
I think back to the day
When she would play
So hard to get
Now that sweet girl is mine
My life’s so fine
I let her set my style
As we walk down the wedding aisle
Prepared to tie the knot
At last I’ve got
Everything girl
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7. |
Love Letter?
02:54
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Don’t know if this is a love letter or a suicide note
I could be sinking on the Titanic or sailing with my dream boat
Love takes an early lead
‘Cause that’s what we all need
But what if she is not the one
And I’m left wondering what I’ve done
Don’t know if this is a love letter or a suicide note
I could be sinking on the Titanic or sailing with my dream boat
Suicide then pulls ahead
It might be easier if I’m dead
Won’t have to figure out what life’s for
And I won’t have to feel pain anymore
Don’t know if this is a love letter or a suicide note
I could be sinking on the Titanic or sailing with my dream boat
They say love conquers fear
So I should love while I’m here
Death gets us all in the end
But eternity will have to wait, My Friend
Don’t know if this is a love letter or a suicide note
I could be sinking on the Titanic or sailing with my dream boat
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8. |
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Oh Jackie was so bright
She could light the darkest night
When she fell from her family tree
And I was the man
Who was Jackie’s biggest fan
But my song was in a minor key
How I loved that girl
From the very start
But she never loved me
And so I wander round
I’m the man who’s trying to cure his broken heart
I tried my best to be
Every guy that she might see
But I guess I lost myself somehow
And so Jackie fell in love
With none of the above
‘Cos she couldn’t tell who I was now
How I loved that girl
From the very start
But she never loved me
And so I wander round
I’m the man who’s trying to cure his broken heart
Somewhere
There's a girl for me
Til I find her
I’ll dream of Jackie
And I’ll never break free
Jackie met a guy
With a twinkle in his eye
But he had a second family tree
And I'm waiting for
What love might have in store
For a brokenhearted man like me
How I loved that girl
From the very start
But she never loved me
And so I wander round
I’m the man who’s trying to cure his broken heart
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The Oven Mitts Los Angeles, California
An eclectic blend of clever power pop (think Fountains of Wayne or They Might Be Giants), 60's-ish pop (think Harry Nilsson or The Monkees), and singer-songwriter songs (think John Prine).
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